You know there’s a whole lot more to being honest with yourself than simply getting rid of fear, though that is a massive subject of its own. Since we are on the thought, how about those other categories of our lives? You know what I mean, right? Those pesky little “hold-backs” that put roadblocks and obstacles in our path, need a little further illumination. Here’s a simple, yet enlightening example. For about the last 10-15 years I have been obsessing over losing weight. I’m older now (haha) and have carried an unfriendly companion with me for almost all of those years. You see, that gut and those love handles have been taunting me from the mirror for over a decade. Sure, there has always been something I could do about it, but somehow I didn’t. Like the now famous book said, I have been battling not with 50 pounds or even 30 pounds, but a measly little 15 pounds. How long does it take or how much discipline is required to lose 15 pounds? Not much, I imagine. So how can a man spend over a decade being unhappy with his own image in the mirror? Well, that thought is the subject of Part Two.
Why would we ever contemplate putting up with something for 15 years? Why does anyone live with the things they detest? Because we aren’t being honest with ourselves, that’s why. The reality of being overweight is that we consume more calories than we burn (simple physics, but not so simple when the human mind gets involved). Sure our “older” bodies burn calories at the speed of rats struggling in a sea of molasses, but still…15 pounds? Okay so we want to lose the gut, but we want to savor the flavor of the food (or drink) more. Honest! Chances are if you are overweight, you like to eat and eating (desire) overrides discipline. Simple. We can say no. We can always say no! Truth is we don’t want to say no! We like to eat. Blaming thyroids, medications, genetics etc. etc. is just not being honest with ourselves. That’s not being mean, that’s being honest. 🙂 (smile supplied to offset angry feelings) I’m not condemning folks that are overweight by any stretch. My message isn’t get thin, be sexy. My message is get honest, do you! If you are okay heavier, then be heavier. But for goodness sakes, don’t play the chase your tail game for another minute. Up down, round and round, distracted, unhappy, yanked around.
You can track this ‘not so nice pattern’ through many areas of your own life. It’s simple, what don’t you like that you CAN do something about? I’m not talking about your brother, LOL, he is who he is. I’m talking about those perennial life suckers. Those “I wish” things. Maybe you hate your job, the boss, the company and all of your co-workers. Yet you stay there year after year. It’s the economy right? Good jobs are hard to find, right? Well, I mean it is comfortable right? Ding, ding, ding, see it? Lying to yourself. Truth is, you just don’t want to deal with the effort (or perceived effort) required to change it. That’s honest, unpleasant perhaps, but honest. Maybe you have always dreamed of being a ________________ (fill in the blank). Well, considering your estimated time allotment on terra firma, you don’t have that much time left. You dream of starting a business, but continue working that job. You remember, the one that you loathe! You dream of writing a book, yet you can always start that next year. Why? Because as long as it is still future you don’t have to deal with it right now. See, lying to yourself is really easy. You don’t like your house because it is too small, too old, to confining. Hmmm… so make some moves toward getting a different one. Wait, I can’t. (ewwww I hate that word) The economy is bad, housing is down, it’s too risky. Here’s a thought. You are going to pay to live anywhere aren’t you? Even welfare housing has a payment. Well, what if you can’t afford the payment? Well, what if the sun crashes into the earth and everyone dies? What if aliens attack and happen to feed on mortgages? You see, we are lying to ourselves!
Being honest with yourself means looking yourself in the eye (not in the gut because you are working on that). Be 100% honest with yourself. Admit to yourself that you are afraid or lazy or whatever, but just say it like it is. Your old mind cannot function on negative realizations and has to justify itself. That’s why we lie. It’s hard to admit that I’m just too lazy to do something about something that has bothered me for 15 years. So, I make excuses, really, really, clever elaborate excuses. But alas, excuses nonetheless…
Get off the hamster wheel folks. Get off the lying track where delusion takes the place of reality and we go on living a life of semi-existence. As my great friend said recently, “quit being a spectator in your own life!” Talk truth to yourself. Take yourself by the mental bootstraps and pull! You really do “only live once” (yolo yolo yolo) and you really do only have one shot at this thing.
So, as I pour another glass of the Carmenere at my Mom’s house and think, “my God this wine is delicious” I remind myself to be honest. And in that honesty I say, yes Tony it is delicious, but you are out of points (WW) so sip it a little more slowly!