Probably not what you were thinking, but maybe… I haven’t been able to weed the flower beds for about 3 weeks now and I found them completely overrun with weeds. I don’t mean a “pull some dandelions business,” I mean more weeds per square inch than flowers. Morning Glory, which aint so glorious are surrounding every flower, every bush, every plant, every…after just 3 weeks. And, pulling them up not only takes forever, but with the weeds come up about one third of the flowers. You can’t see them early on because they’re sneaky…real sneaky! They start low, below eye level and quietly wrap themselves around the flowers. They blend in perfectly. Then when they have the flower completely enveloped they broadcast their presence proudly, almost as if to say, what? What? They have the audacity to bloom flowers on my flowers. And, I can only tell they are even there because of their brazen appearance as in pretty little white flowers showing up on top of their disgusting little weed bodies!
So, I’m depressed…weed brains, what does that even mean? What it means is that our brains or more accurately our minds are like gardens (ala’ James Allen). Crazy huh? Our minds are like gardens that must be tended to, day after day. Now that might sound odd, but most folks just let their minds go. They think thoughts are things that just happen and that there’s not really much anyone can do about it. You think a thought…you think another! It never seems to occur to folks that although you may have just had a negative thought, you don’t just move on. Moving on is like looking out the window and seeing the flower beds and the weeds, and deciding to let it go. What can it hurt? What is the worst that can happen? Until one day you find yourself depressed about life. Nothing seems to matter; nothing has any meaning, nothing… What happened? Chemical changes in the brain, yes sure. But what really happened? What happened was those 385,000 thoughts you let go gathered together and choked the life out of your good thoughts. Oh you didn’t see it happen because it was sneaky, real sneaky. You know what I mean, right? Those pesky little missiles that tell you, “You aint going to achieve much man! Let’s face it, look at ya!” “Working your tired little job; still broke; still wishing something would change!” Or the popular, “You call yourself a Christian!” (as if being a Christian somehow meant you transcended being human and moved into an error free realm!) Good luck with that one… Or, “You messed up again man, because you always mess up, dum dum!” You see, you might not have being paying attention enough to decide not to think that garbage, but you sure as hell (that’s right I swear), need to pay attention enough to not let that stuff go! By the time you recognize it, those little white Morning Glory flowers are all over you, taunting you! They already got you!
Now just to amuse you for a minute, weed (yeah Mary Jane – ols skool term) relaxes your mind right? Hahaha… Relaxes your mind all the way to the point that you are no longer paying attention. You’re high! So high you just accept whatever! LOL Say it aint so… Anyway, I digress. (Methinks you got it)
So, when you find yourself all messed up; unhappy, miserable, listless, pointless, energy-less, what should you do? All the medication in the world won’t solve a problem that started in your thought life. Yes, it can help get your chemicals back in balance, but what got them out of balance to begin with? You did. Can you imagine digging out a flower bed, putting a few flowers in it and then letting it go for 6 months? Do you really think you would have a beautiful flower bed? No man, you know better than that! So you walk your butt over to the flower bed and you start pulling. One weed at a time; weed by weed, until the flower bed was clear. Then, once you got it cleared up you would need to plant some good stuff in there, something you actually wanted. Then, you would have to pay attention to it every day, thoughtfully challenging and digging up every intruder that wasn’t welcome there. Oh it won’t be easy. It will take some work, but what would be the value in terms of your life? I think your life is worth the effort. Don’t believe the hype folks, there’s nothing free about letting your thoughts run free. Life like weeds has a way of filling up unoccupied space with things you don’t want. (Ever watch a reality show?) LOL
The good news is that you can regain control. You can get your mind back. It doesn’t seem like it at the time, but you can if you want to! But remember, you didn’t get all entangled and choked up overnight, so you aint gonna get it all cleaned up overnight. The only time you’ve really got to work with is the time called, “right now.” Yesterday, last month, last year; the last twenty years mean absolutely nothing. You can’t even go back in time to when you first started reading this post (haha), but you can do something about right now! Morning Glories aint got sh** on you! (Said in a Denzel Washington voice)
Stop pouting! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! You know what you know when you know it and not one moment sooner! There’s an enormous, colossal, beautiful, spacious, exciting life that is waiting for you to do your part. God knows your dilemma and soooooooooo wants to help you, but you gotta do your part! So do your part and see what happens!
Although I felt overwhelmed today I got the job done! I cranked up the lawn mower and went kamikaze on those weeds! Quit stewing and brewing and crank up your lawnmower! You can do it because you were designed to do it! You got what it takes, my friends.
Now, that’s worth thinking about…
2 thoughts on “I’m Depressed…Weed Brains”
Yep once the depression is there it’s a bast*** to get rid of. How many times in my life have I changed one thing after another until my life was suddenly new. It took time but eventually I noticed “hang on, I’m not depressed anymore!” Of course depression can originate from a chemical imbalance (as i found out a few years ago).
The mind is a tricky beast. To tame is a lifetimes effort (for me that’s for sure) Mine is very active and I need to keep careful watch. Occasionally I give it something to do, something to play with. It needs a task. Otherwise it starts butting into my life and telling me…”oh that’s no good” and “they have that” and “they can do this, what about you, you loser??” Now that’s the tricky part-filtering out the good and useful from all the monotonous, useless, hurtful and very judgmental crap that comes from it. Practice and being aware….this is a key for me!
All I can say is go out at night where no one knows you, dance, free your mind. Let the music move you. It saved me from the hold depression had on me. Go to a place, feel the music, let go. Feel the adrenaline, meet new people, get a little crazy. Free yourself from societies icey grip. Pretend it is 1977 again. I do, it is amazing. Felling alive, free, and heart pumping.
Try it. Free yourself.