Have you ever arrived at the place where things don’t seem to matter much anymore? You are tired of the routine of life and there’s nothing new under the sun? It’s sort of like life has lost its point somewhere or if it has a point, it somehow snuck by you. You are stuck in a giant bowl of “who cares” and can’t seem to navigate your way out of it. You search for clues in the physical realm like maybe you aren’t getting enough sleep or you’re dehydrated or something. No matter what words you use to describe it, it feels like “blah” and calls aloud for a remedy. What the hell is wrong with me?
Life is best summarized by these two giant life forces working behind the scenes influencing people to decide to move in a certain direction. One force for good is always working to provide you with clues about how to think and where to take your thoughts while the other one seeks to hijack your thoughts and move you forcefully towards a certain path. One motivates by love and the other motivates by fear. Imagine that life is like a race and as long as you keep running you will arrive at a good destination. Your pace of life fluctuates with your mind. When your mind is functioning properly without fear or other constraints, you are able to run effortlessly towards your hopes and dreams. But, when fear forces its way into your existence, there’s an immediate drag on the system and life begins to slow down. Lowered energy, lowered vitality, low capacity to give a damn, all point to fear that has forced itself upon you. You may feel your situation is much more complicated than that, but it isn’t so there’s no need to perplex your mind any further. More rest isn’t going to fix it. Eating better is not going to solve it. Exercising and losing a few pounds isn’t going to correct it. It’s fear, fear, fear and it will suck your life out from underneath you!
Fear is a slippery character and it’s hard to put your arms around it. It moves in quietly without fanfare in the form of a few doubts and maybe some worry here and there. Then, as you unknowingly give it space in your thinking, it gains a little traction and starts occupying a place. It’s like a breeze blowing in your face while you’re running. It’s not enough to stop you, but it is enough to slow you down. You can tell that you’ve slowed down because you are no longer looking forward in your life. You’re no longer focused on your destination, but instead you begin looking all around you. The more you slow down and the more you start looking around, the more potential difficulty you begin to see. It’s also like your life is a huge room with an infinite number of doors you can travel through to get to different destinations. Fear starts closing off the doors, one by one, until your life seems to have very few options or remaining opportunities. The doors aren’t really closed, but fear gives the illusion that they are and as long as you sit there in “it” you aren’t going to see the way out.
Fear at its basis is pure illusion. It isn’t the negative, disastrous outcome, it’s the threat of the disastrous outcome! It’s the ultimate energy suppressor. It feeds on your energy like a parasite as it has no real life of its own! It exists by permission only which its host is unaware it has given away. It can only gain energy from you by your insistence on letting it stick around. You don’t willfully allow it to remain, but you feel compelled to give it mental space as it has suggested some unreasonable outcome from which you wish to escape. Its illusion shines the most brightly as you foolishly decide to engage it with your human logic and understanding. It’s a wrong starting premise which cannot end successfully in any scenario. In the middle of his nightmare Job said, “I have no ease, I have no quietness; I cannot rest; turmoil has come upon me.” The hallmark of fear, if you are still in denial, is no ease, no quietness, no rest and the feeling that trouble has landed upon you! What is wrong with you? Fear has descended upon you and you need to escape its grasp!
If you want your life to return to you. If you want to experience your former energy and vitality, you have to rid yourself of fear. You have to eradicate it from your life like the plague! You’ve got to clear out both the obnoxious and the subtle. You’ve got to learn to hear its words inside your head and begin the process of refuting them! You must find some promise of God that overcomes that fear and hurl it on the fear thoughts like dry chemical carbon dioxide! Maybe there is some action you need to take or some consultation you need to attend, but whatever it is, take that action! Then, once you’ve refuted it and coated it with God’s promises and taken action against it, let the damn thing go! Nothing kills off fear faster than your personal decision to refuse it access to your thoughts! Resist the urge to reason it out, it has no reason behind it. Quote the Word and let it go!
What is wrong with you? What’s wrong with the whole world and its quest to recover its former life? You’ve fallen victim to fear in some capacity and it is eating away at your life. Get rid of it. Squash it! Stomp it out! Get back to running in your own race of life, effortlessly toward the things that matter most to you! Your condition isn’t permanent no matter how long you’ve been living this way. You not only should get rid of every fear, but it is your birthright as a human being to do it. Your life without all the fear is your real existence. It’s the way God intended for you to live. Let Him take on all the so-called threats to your existence. Let Him do what He said He would do! No fear…none!
Just some good thoughts…
2 thoughts on “What Is Wrong With Me?”
Yes papa Tony
I have fear. I have lost my Dena and fear I will never be with her again. Yet we talk almost daily the news is I have to let her go. That is what I fear. I love her and to let her go I feel I’m letting go of love (tears streaming now) thanks for the words of wisdom but you’re right. I am fighting against the wind
Everything you dream of is on the other side of fear!