The Golf Metaphor for Life…

If you have ever played the game of golf you know how challenging it can be. Unlike many other sports you cannot compensate for lack of technique with pure athleticism. The nature of the game is that you have to try and consistently hit a small unforgiving ball with a metal or graphite stick designed to go a certain distance. Add to that a requirement to try and hit the ball fairly straight without hitting the ground first (chunking) or hitting too high on the golf ball (blading). Now multiply that same swing over the course of 18 holes requiring approximately 4-8 shots per hole depending upon your ability including putts on rarely even surfaces, which must be completed until the ball goes in the hole. Obviously some folks have mastered the game and get a lot of money to perform. But, most of us get out there for the pure beauty of the game and the course. However, the one thing the game requires is that you keep yourself together mentally. If you hit a bad shot you have to immediately get it out of your mind and focus on hitting the next one properly (not right, that’s a slice). If you hit a series of bad shots you soon find yourself with a bad case of the “yips” which causes you to question everything you have learned about the game and your swing and your ability. This is usually when the drinking begins! If you happen to hit a good shot you cannot rest on your laurels as one tiny departure from the proper techniques leads straight to oblivion (at least on your score card!) This is how Arnold Palmer described it, “Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening – and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.” Hence, golf is a metaphor for life.

One of the greatest challenges that will confront you in golf is the absolute requirement to play and win the mental game. A tiny loss of focus or distraction will send you woefully off course and keep you off course until you remember to control your thinking again. It is not the horrible shot that defeats you, it’s the failure to properly focus on your next shot that will get you. Often before you hit the ball your mind gets assaulted with “swing thoughts” or things you have to remember in order to succeed and the more you entertain these thoughts, the worse your shot will be. Life is like that. The challenge when you are confronted with a negative thought or circumstance isn’t what just happened and why. The challenge is what you are going to do with your next thoughts concerning the challenge. If you overthink everything you are going to lose. If you allow the doubts to fill your mind and don’t do anything to confront them, they will prevail over you and make the things you used to enjoy, suck! Sometimes in life you just have to hit the ball. You have to cease from analyzing and evaluating your every move and just get out there and live. The time to “practice” is before you are confronted with the obstacle, not in the midst of the obstacle. During the challenge you often have to resort to what you have already learned. The same thing that is blaring in my head and providing a quick disastrous picture before I swing that 3 wood is the same thing that is blaring in my head while I’m living my life. Now, I’ve learned to slow down and challenge that thought. Change the image, change the picture. In life you would no more let everything and anything go in favor of whatever happens happens than you would playing golf. You have to decide what you are going to do with good expectations for a favorable outcome before you swing the club. And, if the outcome is not what you expected you pick yourself up and try again. Reacting to negatives by bludgeoning the ground with your club or throwing the clubs in the pond does not erase the poor shot, it just makes the shot more expensive. Life requires that you control your thinking and not allow yourself to get on a negative track. Sure things are going to piss you off at times, but it is still your mind to control. The better you can control your thoughts, the more successful you are going to be.

In golf it also matters who you play with. Certain friends help you to maintain a calm, positive demeanor. Others feel it is their responsibility to annoy you. When you play golf, as my friend likes to say, the only person you are really playing against is yourself. The moment you let other people get into your head you are going to fail. Comparison or being so competitive mentally that you exceed your ability physically leads to a disaster. There is nothing wrong with a little competition for motivation but when you let the competition work you over you are now on the wrong side. In life, who you choose to hang out with does matter. The people you surround yourself with will make an impact for good or bad in your life. If your friends are kind and supportive, great! But, if your friends are always in the business of pointing out what is wrong with you, they are not your friends. The same applies to people that insist on being negative. As a great man used to say, “If you hang out with people who have tics, you’re going to get tics!” No matter how good you are in your mind those negatives will begin to stick to you and you will be worse off because of it. The beauty of golf is that you usually get to decide who you are going to play with. But, at the end of the day, the one playing the game is you.

In golf you have to practice the principals of getting it right. You have to take time to practice with each club. Your score will get worse exponentially if you never take any time to practice putting. With the professionals, putting is where the money is found. If you want to improve you have to practice to the point that you don’t have to give every shot so much thought. Life is like that. There are certain principles you have to master in order to succeed. You just have to work at it, no excuses. If you know you have a weak spot in some aspect of life it is your responsibility to take some steps to mitigate your own weak spots. You might not be able to remove them entirely, but you can reduce their impact on your happiness. Similarly, it is often the small things that get you. It’s those areas of life that you really don’t give much thought to or categories of life you think you already have figured out, so you are no longer open to learning. You go to a golf pro and get some lessons and find out things you never even considered before. Can you imagine trying to live your life without ever seeking help and guidance from people who are doing it right and enjoying it? Does it make any sense to simply trudge on, on your own, failing and getting hurt without considering that you may have developed some errors of thought and practice that are leading to your poor results? But, if you are humble and willing to learn; to accept that you don’t have it all figured out; to be willing to unlearn without getting so offended; to lower your estimation of yourself so that somebody can tell you something; then and only then do you have a real shot at changing for the better.

Golf truly is a beautiful game. It can be maddening but it can also be extremely satisfying. All it takes is a moment or two of getting it sublimely right that you become hooked for life. The manicured grounds, the beauty of nature, the peaceful serenity all contribute to an enjoyable time with the people whom you love. But, more important than shooting an all time low score or getting a hole in one or making a 50 foot putt, is the enjoyment you have while you are out there. If you are not enjoying it you are doing something wrong and the wrong is usually found right between your own ears. Once you get the mental part figured out or at least improving, then you are on the right path to happiness and blessings. Everything in life gets better when your thinking gets better. Life is the ultimate mental sport. The competition is there opposing you every day but how you choose to approach it means the difference between winning and losing. Yes you are going to hit some bad shots. Yes you are going to have some triple and quadruple bogies. Yes you are going to launch your drive into the abyss at times. But those things don’t mess up your life. What messes up your life is the thoughts you think concerning it. If you can get and keep your mental game together you will improve by leap and bounds. God wants for you to enjoy your life and to play good golf. Cooperate with Him by thinking what He says to think. Your mental game matters the most. Golf is a great metaphor for life…

Just some good thoughts…