Happiness Deferred…

Happiness is a state of mind that all people would like to attain. For this reason, it has as many definitions because people have many, varying feelings which for them produce a state of happiness. For the sake of today’s subject we will refer to happiness as being that state of mind that is contented with its lot, at peace and is living fully in the moment enjoying the time that is now. The latter can be described as an ideal state of mind. Happiness is not produced simply by acquiring possessions, accomplishing achievements or living within congenial circumstances. It is more a mental place reached greatly influenced by the things that surround us. It is often a decision we make when certain conditions have been met that for us produce happiness. In light of this, many people choose to defer their happiness while they are waiting for something to happen. Challenging situations seem to call for happiness to be deferred until the crisis or problem is finally resolved. Other folks defer their happiness until they reach some future state where all the self-made check boxes have been checked. Some sad people have been convinced that happiness is not something they can ever hope to attain and as such unknowingly defer their happiness indefinitely. No matter the reasoning, does it really make sense to defer our happiness in light of the circumstances we face? Ultimately happiness is a choice we are making and is it therefore plausible that we should spend any significant amount of time not allowing ourselves to enjoy it? Are you living today with your own happiness deferred?

I think if you really consider the topic you would agree that your happiness should not be put on hold if you have the capacity to be happy now. If you are waiting for something good to happen, what happens to all of the days in between? Depending upon how long you have to wait for your special thing, you would be faced with many unhappy days while you were waiting. This is the logic of trying to live in the future. Living in the future, or at least trying to live in it, robs you of the life that is going on now. It steals from you the finite number of days you have on earth. It is the same logic involved with living for the weekend or the next vacation. I often muse that the reason we feel this way at times is because we are working at the wrong job; one from which we seek escape. It is such a shame to spend your productive days seeking not to produce but instead to get away. Maybe we all love to have time where we choose what we are going to do, but that application could also apply to where we choose to work. No matter the case, deferring your happiness until some future day does not make much sense.

Challenging situations and unresolved issues are likely the largest cause for happiness to be deferred. Take for example being unemployed. Not being employed when you should be is obviously a problem. Lots of negative things can occur when you don’t have the money that you need. Yet how many of us, following a period of unemployment, look back at the times of angst and uncertainty with regret over how much we would have enjoyed the extended time off if we knew our new job was on the way? But, the problem superseded our present reality and with it led to not only feeling unhappy, but also us choosing to defer any happiness until a resolution could be found. How many of us when faced with a challenge or a problem choose to defer our happiness while we seek a solution? Yet in this also we are choosing unwisely. Certain problems and difficulties are bigger than we are. Some issues we are not going to be able to resolve on our own, though it seems to take a very long time until we reach this conclusion. Yet every day spent in futility is an unhappy day playing out over weeks, months and even years. It would make more sense for us to acknowledge the problem exceeds our capacity to solve it and thus reach outside ourselves for help that much sooner. There is a reason God says to “cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.” Each time we are able to cast our cares upon Him, as being infinitely more able to solve it than we are, we give ourselves an opportunity to be happy in the interim. Instead of wasting away our precious lives in fear and worry, we can choose to enjoy the time that is now while we wait for the answer; His answer. Fear, worry, anxiety, stress all do nothing more than occupy the life we have right now. There are no solutions in those mental states and you already know that. If you want to be happy now and you have an unresolved problem, you have to learn to let go and let God. With Him nothing is impossible. Choose to be happy now while you are waiting as deferring your happiness solves nothing either. Often solutions show up after you let all of the harassing negatives go.

There are certain folks that have developed a detailed list of accomplishments to be attained before happiness can be enjoyed. They also foolishly defer the happiness of living and enjoying now for some not guaranteed future state of mind. And depending upon the years needed to attain what they have required, end up spending many years living with deferred happiness or stated another way discontent. No one on their death bed looks back on their life with a focus on what they were able to achieve, no matter how great the achievements. Instead they surround themselves with the people they love and have loved. They may regret all the time they spent away from the more important aspects of life and all of the many, many days they did not manage to properly enjoy while embarking upon their quest. There is obviously nothing wrong with great achievement, but more important is the journey along the way. If you are questing and seeking and your ambition is high, be sure not to defer your happiness along the way.

Finally, to those poor souls having been convinced that happiness is not something they can have, take hope in knowing that happiness is God’s will for all of His creation and all that stands in the way of it is you. You have allowed years of unhappy and difficult circumstances to convince you of a lie, namely that your personal happiness is dependent upon those circumstances. You don’t need the circumstances to change. You need to change and the circumstances will surely follow. Happiness is and always will be a decision you make whether your circumstances be meager or grand. True happiness, contentment, peace of mind, living in the moments called now are all available to you today. Instead of scouring the earth for the answer, seek the God that made you as He holds the key to all of those realties and you will surely find.

Brothers and sisters do not spend another day deferring your happiness to another day or time. Happiness is your birthright and there is no need to wait for it. Don’t allow the challenges and the pressures of the world to get you down and threaten that you cannot be happy until your solution arrives. Similarly, don’t be so hard on yourself with all that you must do and achieve in order to be happy. Your happiness is not dependent upon any of those things. Happiness is there for your taking by the decisions you make in your mind. Be happy today. Enjoy your life today. Live in the time period called today and refuse to live in any other time. Happiness deferred is not life at all. It is a distraction from your real, true and satisfying life. Choose happiness today!

Just some good thoughts…