Hurt Hearts Hurt Humans… Healed Hearts Heal Humans!


broken_heart_8220916All us good folk living our lives the best we can have one thing in common. We’re all carrying around some bullshit we need to get rid of! We have all been hurt. We have all been mistreated. We have all made mistakes; lots and lots of them (multiplied by our current age). We were brought up by parents who made mistakes. They were raised by people who made mistakes. Our teachers taught us things that weren’t true. Employers may have used us. Others abused us. And, while we may not be psychopaths, we are all damaged goods in some capacity. We are imperfect creatures in an imperfect world living among other imperfect creatures. And sadly, knowing the futility and insanity of our own thoughts at times, we insist on demanding from others that which we don’t even get from ourselves. Hurt hearts can only hurt other people.

If you will really think it through, none of us want to do things that are wrong or hurtful. None of us. But our pain, our unresolved issues really aren’t centered on others, they are centered on ourselves. Our frailties, our weaknesses, our issues pave the way for the foolish things we do. We say horrible things to people not with intent to hurt them, but to salve our own wounds. We gash and tear and bash other people because we are gashed and torn and bashed ourselves. Couples fight, inflicting verbal wounds on one another’s hearts in a misguided attempt to protect their own hearts. Wounded hearts wound other’s hearts.

Oh how compassionate we would become if we ever got past our own bullshit long enough to see and feel the other person. But, we cannot see past the bleeding wounds of our own souls. A compassionate heart is one that is completely and thoroughly in touch with its own absurdity and as such is willing to easily look past the absurdity in another. A person with a compassionate heart forgives freely because they remember how and for what God has forgiven them. People often compliment me personally on how non-judgmental I am, never considering the heavy judgments I cast on myself. A compassionate heart helps people heal.

In order for people to actually get past their baggage and their bondage and their bullshit, they have to be made whole. But, they can’t be made whole without God. All the counseling and positive thinking and affirmations in the world can’t repair the breach because the real source of the breach is always spiritual; a spiritual enemy, ever veiled from view, yet ultimately behind both the suffering we experience and the suffering we inflict. All healing is first spiritual as all pain is first spiritual.

There but for the grace and mostly mercy of God, go I. We are all the same. We all have hopes and aspirations and dreams. We all endure fears and pain and suffering. We all need love, compassion and understanding. We’ve all hurt and damaged and messed others up. We’re in this boat together and though it appears others are awful and we are saints, wrong is still wrong is still wrong. The damage caused by the jaded heart is the same as the hurt caused by the gentle heart. Our life’s work is not to exhaust ourselves in improving ourselves but rather to expend ourselves getting to know and understand the One that heals us.

How does God heal our hearts? If anyone has the right and authority to judge us, it would certainly be Him. But, as One not subjected to the deception of evil, He heals not by pointing out our absurdities and faults; not by seeking to punish our foolishness and frailty, but by knowing who we really are and remaining faithful to treat us in that light. He sees behind the smoke screens and facades and clearly discerns what got us; why it got us; and how the heck He can get us out of it. With Him we can only succeed and without Him we can only fail. Life is too big; too tricky; too perilous to figure out this thing on our own. God heals hearts and healed hearts help others heal.

Once God heals our situations spiritually and trust me, He does, it’s still up to us to put it on in our minds. And though our earthly minds will never reach His perfection, we can still get so repaired of a lifetime of bullshit that we can actually heal. We can become so blessed, so forgiven and encouraged that we become a source of valuable help to others. We have no difficulty looking past the so-called egregious errors of other people because we finally understand why. And once you know why, you never have trouble with the things people have done. Sure some things are worse than others, but underneath it all lies a human just like you. Healed people forgive others.

Simple logic tells you that a broken machine doesn’t work like it should. When it finally blows up and breaks stuff, you get why it damaged things and instead of blaming and accusing and assaulting it, you seek to get it repaired. Humans are no different. We may have free-will and minds and thoughts and decision-making ability, but when we break down we tear stuff up. The solution is therefore to help it (them) get repaired. A child, guilt ridden for the wrong he did doesn’t need a lecture, he needs forgiveness and an approving, unconditional loving response. That’s what God gives you. That’s what you give to others. A healed heart sets people free!

We find ourselves all lined up in the same boat on a similar journey. Don’t allow the wrongs you have suffered to make you a cause in the suffering of others. Instead accept and love yourself for all the foolishness that you are and be grateful for your perfect God that saves you and saves us all! Healed hearts love the unlovable until they become lovable too.

Just some good, healing thoughts…

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The Saga of the “Inflated” Facebook Status…


161859632Facebook-LikesOn more than a few occasions recently, my attention has been drawn to a bit of upset in one form or another regarding potentially “inflated” Facebook statuses. I know it’s an odd topic and what I’m about to write certainly isn’t an indictment against anyone (and I mean that). I just started thinking about it and well, here comes a blog.

When we go out in public, we normally put on nicer clothes; fix our hair and generally do our best to make a nice appearance. No-one thinks we are being fake or takes issue with our best presentation, but rather typically applaud our efforts. At work, we may be having a terrible day or having marital issues at home and we still try our best to put on a brave face and at least appear to be happy.

So, if you really think about it, Facebook is a public place. Folks really don’t want to know how such and such did you wrong or any inference to you somehow being a victim. In fact, most folks will encourage you but still add a precaution that the public space of Facebook isn’t really the format for your delicate personal issues. Really, when you get right down to it, Facebook isn’t a safe place to share your most intimate feelings as there are people on your friend’s list that aren’t necessarily your friends and have been lying in wait to stab your tender underbelly! Haha you know it’s true. The problem is that we often forget that and soon find ourselves embroiled in other people’s judgments, despite them having only a fraction of insight into who we really are. Live and learn I guess…

So, here’s the thing. If someone paints a picture of their life that maybe isn’t 100% true, do we really care? If it’s not true, don’t the people involved already know it? And, if they know it and their life isn’t so great, aren’t they the ones living that life? Further, who wants to promote their problems; their difficulties and their weaknesses? Who even wants to read that? It seems that if someone feels a need to glorify their life, let them glorify it. Maybe it’s fantasy? Maybe it’s the life they have imagined? Maybe it’s an empty wish? Well, good Lord, join the grant a wish foundation and let them say it! Right? People are suffering. People are hurting inside. People struggle. If she is putting on her lipstick and smiling anyway, let her smile. If he just added two zeroes to his paycheck, let him add it on. Hey, maybe if he keeps saying it enough it might actually happen.

I guess what I’m really talking about is compassion. Compassion is sort of like seeing through the story and pretending like you believe it’s true, not for honesty’s sake, but for the other person’s sake. And you do it with the hopes that one day they will trust you enough to let you see the real them. Why do folks inflate their Facebook status? They’re afraid to let you see the real them… A good friend once taught me that at first people are afraid to show you their heart. Picture clasped hands opening very briefly to let you see inside. Then, when trust is established, the hands open a little more and finally they stay open. An open heart is hands that stay open. Until that moment, you don’t get to see the real person. But, funnily enough, they would find that the real version of them is wonderful and really doesn’t need revision.

Some people aren’t really inflating their status, but choosing rather to only share the good bits! If I’m selling you a car, I don’t start with everything that is wrong with it. I tell you all its virtues, then maybe throw in a few needed repairs. On Facebook, because we are all people after all, we are selling people our hearts. Sure, everything in our life isn’t perfect, but for the good Lord’s sake, why would we tell everyone about that? LOL Personally, I don’t mind speaking of my challenges and mistakes because I know deep down you are just like me and I’m okay with that.

I think if you are really honest with yourself, feeling upset about the possibility that someone’s life isn’t as great as they say it is, is really more about you than it is about them. Otherwise, why even care? There are enough blessings and good things in life for all of us to have a healthy share! If I’m enjoying God’s abundant blessings in my life, I want you to have them as well. If you make 5 times more money than I do, God bless you and good for you! We have all felt a twinge of envy on occasion, but really, feeling that way points more to our feeling inferior than having genuine love. It also reveals that we may feel a need to be above others rather than stand shoulder to shoulder with them. I’m proud of my accomplishments in life, though I feel sometimes like I’ve earned 7 stars but am capable of 10 (smile). But, even in my accomplishments, I don’t want to be above you!

Since these are just some good thoughts, I hope I didn’t make you mad. Instead I say, live and let live. If I don’t approve of your life and think you are headed for trouble, then if true the trouble will come. But, with God everybody has a chance to turn anything around and if God did it for me, He will do it for you as well. Life is too short to demand an accurate portrayal of everyone’s life. I just ironed my jeans, you know what i mean?

Just some compassionate good thoughts…