What Do You Say to Yourself About Yourself?

As the author of, “Just Some Good Thoughts (nothing more, nothing less…)” I have always been fascinated with thoughts and the impact those thoughts have on our lives. Generally speaking, people are not taught much about the importance of controlling their thinking. And while we may not consciously think every thought that pops into our minds, we certainly can control whether that thought and its friends by association remain in our minds. I’ve heard people say things like they cannot turn off certain thoughts or that their minds run and there is little they can do about it. I can assure you this is not true. What happens in those scenarios is that fears and worries are running the show and because we are upset we feel the urge to continue the thoughts in a desperate attempt to solve the problem that is presenting itself to us. This never works. Instead we need to refuse the negative thoughts and resist the urge to figure it out. Our thoughts are always our thoughts and we are in charge of them. No one makes us think anything. We are always choosing. Similarly, as thinking beings, we maintain a constant dialogue with ourselves. We talk to ourselves in our minds (and sometimes out loud). We make judgments about ourselves. We draw conclusions concerning ourselves. We feel good and bad about ourselves. We say things about ourselves to ourselves. The question is what are you saying to yourself about yourself? How are you talking to that person who is yourself? What you are saying to yourself on a consistent basis has a huge impact on how you approach the world, what you believe you can do, how you feel about yourself and how happy you are going to be in this life. So, what are you saying?

In psychological terms, it’s called “self-talk.” In spiritual terms it is called the competition. Every single day and all throughout the day we are saying something to ourselves. Since this happens in our minds, the only human who knows what you are thinking about is you. As such, we can put on a great, well rehearsed show for others. We can appear to be quite normal and well adjusted. We can present ourselves however we want to present ourselves. Yet inside treat ourselves with contempt. People say all kinds of horrible things to themselves, things they would never say to others. In some instances we can be downright cruel. I’ve often said that the people who are the most critical of others are the most critical of themselves. Conversely, people that are compassionate with others and kind are likely compassionate and kind with themselves. Negative and positive thinking doesn’t stay on the inside but instead manifests itself on the outside. People who are always angry with others are likely angry with themselves. I trust you get the point. We have to learn to pay attention to what it is we are saying to ourselves. We win or lose because of it. But remember, we are not functioning within a vacuum. There are outside forces working hard to shape what it is we think and what we continue to think. You being the only person you are have a responsibility for the things you think about yourself. Sheer logic would indicate that we should never actively oppose our very own selves. Animals don’t do this. People absent evil influence would not do this. Yet we do it often. Something is behind it. Some things we say to ourselves we have been saying for a very long time and as such we can scarce detect it. This is how the enemy works. He or more accurately they influence our thinking to be negative. Once they get us to think improperly, they band together to get us to habituate those thoughts. Then once habituated we carry out the process on our own to our own detriment. The only way to break out of this cycle is to pay attention to what it is we are thinking and what we are saying to ourselves.

Controlling your thinking begins with paying attention to what you are thinking. Suddenly you feel agitated or distressed. Instead of moving on or distracting yourself, think about what you were thinking about. The agitation, the upset came from somewhere. And, because of its recency you can track it down. Once you track it down, you now have a responsibility to either accept it or reject it and think a thought that counters that negative. In other words, confront it. If you don’t pay attention or think it requires too much effort, soon your mind will be filled with all sorts of things you do not want. The whole world falls under this spell. The only reason you would say terrible things to yourself is because that’s where you have been led. It’s not just how you are. Someone or something has convinced you of something that isn’t true. Because you do not have access to other people’s minds you assume it’s just the way it is. However, all people are influenced in the same way. You are chastising yourself and they are chastising themselves. You are calling yourself names and they are calling themselves names. You are being harsh and intolerant of yourself and doling out cruelty to yourself and so are they in varying fashions and forms. We are all in this thing together. We all need to learn how to pay attention to our thoughts and we all need to learn how to control them. Much of what we think and conclude is shrouded in darkness. The adversary hides out in our thinking posing as our own self. The secret of his success is the secrecy of his moves. In order to expose the darkness you need to introduce light. You need something to illuminate your mind so that you can finally see what you have been thus far unable to see. God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. God’s Word is the light of the world. When you focus your mind on the Word of God, illumination is the result. The reason the truth sets you free is because you can see the bondage occurring and take steps to change your thinking. Absent any illumination you will find your opponent too powerful and too crafty to overcome. Illuminate your thinking and learn to be kind and compassionate towards yourself; your only self.

Why not choose to say good things to yourself about yourself? Why not be on your own side for once? Why not lovingly support and encourage yourself? Give yourself a break. Every dumb thing you or I ever did was the result of evil influence hiding out in our thinking. You are not the problem. The adversary is the problem. He hates God and he hates you. Don’t cooperate with him in drawing negative conclusions about yourself. Are you really so terrible? Have you somehow become the embodiment of evil? Or is someone working you over on the inside without you fighting back? If God be for us, who can be against us includes yourself. You don’t do anyone any favors by opposing yourself. It’s not pious or godly. You are not a miserable worm for Jesus. You belong to the Most High God and He made you lovely and acceptable in the beloved. But, you have got to take on those negative thoughts instead of acquiescing to them. You have to challenge them, You have to learn how to fight back! You have to learn to love yourself again. If you are not for you, how can you expect to win? You see, the enemy works to divide you against yourself and once you are divided you are weak. The wholeness that God promises is the integration of yourself. You are made whole as you control your thinking. Decide right now that you will no longer think and say negative things about yourself to yourself. Challenge that garbage that floats through your mind. There is nothing wrong with you but that which is wrong with all of us, an old human nature that has been trained to live in negativity. You can break free from the cycle of defeat. You can feel good about yourself, not because you do everything right, but because God is the one that made you right. Do yourself a favor and learn to be on your own side. The happiest and most blessed people do this. Think good thoughts about yourself. Just some good thoughts. Amen?